When it comes to two people sympathizing with one another, there’s much more than sympathy to consider. It’s two people, each having their own different stories with them, things that define them, things that both carry on their own. Fear of rejection is a heavyweight to carry. He likes you, finds you attractive, but will take his time to make a move …if he ever decides to do so. The obvious can’t be hidden, he will show signs, and we’re all ears and eyes to read, see, and hear them. Let’s understand this better!
Explaining his mindset – A man that’s scared of rejection
Fear of rejection is something that builds up with time and experience. Rejection can be experienced and perceived through different forms starting from childhood in the connection with our parents, to further ahead in other relations with friends and romantic partners. The development of fear of rejection has a lot to do with unsolved and undealt issues caused by past experiences. It has a strong impact on people’s lives and their way of communicating with others. It undoubtedly reflects a lot on romantic relationships in people in general, and men in particular. He might have defensive behavior. Fear of rejection often becomes a source of insecurity which causes him to be more defensive, and at times rude or even arrogant. Such defensive behavior comes from the ‘I’ll refuse or dominate with my behavior before you do that to me’ mindset which at times (depending on person’s personality) is developed along with the fear of rejection. The fear of rejection is difficult to overcome & deal with. It takes a whole lot of time, effort, and work to first acknowledge it, since it starts building up from a young age and becomes a source of insecurities, it is difficult to see past it, and start taking action. One might experience such fear and not be aware of it, nor the factors that are causing it (or already caused it). However, once acknowledged, it also takes a lot of time, effort and work to overcome it. He’s going to take a while to tell you what he feels about you. Or just make any move really. It is a strong feeling and obstacle -fear of rejection- it is like having a constant reminder before doing anything courageous that says “Wait, there are a lot of chances you can get refused!”. So, it takes time, courage, pep talk from friends and/or family to get him to make a move. He’s going to take a while. 11 signs he likes you but is afraid of rejection:
1. Someone he knows asked you about him
A friend of his, or someone he hangs out with in whatever environment (work, school, caffee, etc) you two see each other, might casually speak of him in your presence, or straight up ask you about what you think of his friend. A safe place to talk about the fact that he likes you is among friends, because there’s no risk of you rejecting him if you don’t know that he likes you. So he tells his friends, and they’re good enough friends to help him out ‘get the girl’; Through them he’ll know whether you’re interested in him too or not, in order for him to feel safe to make the move.
2. Whenever you’re in need of him, he’s there for you
He looks out for you and he cares for you…You can notice this especially if you two are friends with one another. One call, and he’ll be there. Need of support, need of help with something to do, to carry, to understand, pretty much anything. He’ll have this behavior that shows how providing he can be, men are ‘providers’ by nature, so he’ll show that once he’s interested in a potential partner. He’s supportive in general, he’s kind to you, he’ll offer help whenever he can, he’ll offer help whenever you ask even if it’s not directed to him.
3. His behavior is confusing at times
He says kind & sweet words, he’s warm and caring, but then at times he’s distant. That’s because he can’t really say what he’s feeling, and can’t address something you did that perhaps hurt him, or gave him the “I don’t like you” sign (even if it is him misunderstanding it). Let’s say you’re nice to him some day, and then the other day you’re busy and can’t pay attention to him. He might take it as a sign of lack of interest and confuse it with ‘she doesn’t like me’. So he pulls away in order to avoid what he fears happening: you rejecting him. It’s the back and forth, until one of you makes it more obvious, or at least stop hiding ‘the already obvious’.
4. He doesn’t call/text
There’s a chance for rejection, there’s room for rejection in a phone call too. You can just not accept the call, or ignore it and not call him back, etc. Hence he won’t go for it until he’s sure he’ll get a positive answer. Perhaps he didn’t even get your number, or got your number but isn’t texting you. Perhaps he’s waiting for you to text him first, in order to get the ‘confirmation’ that you’re ok with him texting you. However, when it comes to making a move for a step ahead, you’ll notice him being hesitant, even though he shows signs he likes you. He’ll hesitate wherever there’s risk for direct rejection, a phone call or a text from his side do have that type of risk. Though once he starts texting you, and/or once he gets that ‘not rejected’ vibe, he’ll text you consistently whether it is to know if you’re okay, to ask you questions, or to just get to know you better.
5. He pays attention
If you’re already talking with one another, and communicate at some level, notice how he pays attention. He remembers things you tell him, he notices little details about you, he knows what you like and what you don’t like, etc. He listens to you when you talk, he truly listens. Him paying attention leads to him being more thoughtful. He pays attention to what you like, or what you’ve been wanting to get recently but didn’t have the chance to, he’s then thoughtful when he gets exactly what you like/what you’ve been wanting to get recently. The dots connect with one another, and they lead one to the other.
6. He’s very careful with his attitude and appearance
He likes you, but is nervous around you, hence he’s careful with what he says and what he does around you. When he catches you looking at him he might fix his hair, shirt, etc., because past experiences of rejection made him feel insecure about certain things that now he feels he should fix every now and then – you having your eyes on him can remind him of ‘fixing’ so that he looks more presentable. He likes you but is somewhat afraid of showing it, so he’ll do his best to not mess this up. He’ll be careful with what he says during a conversation with you, he’ll most probably keep eye contact, and he’ll make sure he’s looking damn fine.
7. He likes you, so he’ll give you THE look
Yes, we know the look. Like ‘he’s been mesmerized and forgot where he is because he can’t take his eyes off you’ look, that look. You catch him looking at you, when you do he either looks away very quickly, or keeps the eye contact and turns it into a soft, lovely flirt, by adding a smile, or something else approaching. I say this a lot, and I’m going to say it again: we communicate through eyes more than we know of it. We give little signals to one another unconsciously, it’s like our bodies and minds are communicating, but not being aware of it. That’s why you get that vibe, and those little butterflies that tickle so lovely.
8. You feel it
It’s that spark, and his little actions that give you the hints. Most importantly, you feel that energy, that vibe when you two are in the same place. It’s him trying to share his time with you; his behavior changing when you enter the room; or his facial expression showing he’s not happy to know you’re thinking of dating someone. We get these signals whether we pay attention to them or not, and then we feel it, and then we know it. Besides the obvious signals, the feeling and the vibe is a thing. It’s chemistry, it’s something that flows naturally, and you know when you feel it with a person, it is undeniably there.
9. He gives back
I’ll say it again: it is difficult for him to initiate flirting, or touch, or anything that involves risk of rejection. He might even hesitate to talk to you, text or call you even if he has your number. Once he receives a sign, flirt, touch, smile from your side he’ll give it back – He will respond to your ‘hints’. He lightly touches your hand or your shoulder when he gets the chance and when he feels it’s safe to do so. Him responding to your flirting, your laughter, your communication is a hint and a sign that he likes you, he’s afraid of rejection, so he’ll need his time to take the next step further ahead.
10. He talks to you whenever he can
He shows interest in knowing you more, he asks questions, and you see him truly enjoying the time that he spends with you. Talking to him feels comfortable and safe, he shows he understands. He asks for ideas and opinions, and listens because he trusts you and values what you present. He makes jokes, he definitely tries to make you laugh. Though, when it comes to certain topics he might just keep some things to himself. Like when it comes to ‘other girls’ topics, he doesn’t talk much about it – he doesn’t want you to think he’s involved with someone else, because that could ruin the odds of a positive response from you in the future. Or, you can tell that he finds it a bit disturbing when you talk about other guys; you’ll notice him trying to change the topic, or trying his best to keep it cool.
11. He will be where you are
If you’re not talking yet, or if you’re just ‘communicating’ from a distance, he might just be where you are. You see him every time in your coffee break very close to the table you’re sitting in, you’ll see him talking to his friend who happened to be close to your table. In a few words, you will see him almost everywhere. I find it very charming and very sweet this part of a ‘potential’ romantic story. It’s that playful back and forth smiling, looking, staring, making the obvious more obvious, so much that others around you see you like a couple. Until one of you finally decides to make ‘the big’ step and turn it into a beautiful story that began, and start the journey to that “You two look so beautiful together!”.
What can you do if he likes you but he’s scared of rejection?
It is a bit of a complicated situation because the ‘signals’ can be easily mixed up. However, there are things you can do about it… Understand him; Try to understand and see the place he’s coming from. Don’t try to rush things, or rush him into making a move. Let things flow naturally, don’t try to force anything. Give him hints; He needs to be sure that you like him back in order for him to feel safe to make a move. Give him hints that you like him: look at him, be kind to him, smile. You know the diddly doodly things to let him know. Tell him you like him. If you really like him, tell him woman! There’s nothing wrong with it unless you’re forcing something that’s not about happening. Tell him.
Conclusion
He likes you, and he’ll tell you but not verbally just yet. He will give you hints, and he’ll be looking to get hints back from you. If you can’t wait for him to tell you, girl it’s easy: Tell him yourself! You’ve got this. Love, Callisto Does He Like Me Quiz? How to tell If a guy likes you?
