You might have your phone near you all the time, notice you’ve got a message, and still continue with your priorities. You should text him back whenever you feel it is appropriate, and healthy for your text conversation, and whenever you feel comfortable doing so. Avoid playing waiting games as they can gradually break the conversation apart to an end. Here’s what you should consider when waiting to text him back:
1. Be careful of mind games
When contemplating how much you should wait, you are unconsciously starting a mind game. Because, nowadays, the sooner you reply to a text, the more interested you are, and vice versa. Playing mind games from the beginning is not a way that you can start to build a relationship, and he will quickly catch onto it. That is why you should text him back whenever you feel like it is the natural time to do so. You shouldn’t leave him purposefully waiting for days, because you’re “busy.” Using strategies to make him wait for hours/days is an unhealthy foundation for starting a relationship. All of the strategizing and mind games that you might be thinking of pulling can make you look manipulative and controlling.
2. Consider his texting style
The safest route you can take when deciding to answer him back is by following your gut, or by mirroring his texting style. Take notice of his response time. Does he always take hours to text you back, do you start talking, and then he takes longer and longer to respond, or he doesn’t respond at all? You shouldn’t retaliate with the same energy or double the time, that’s just childish. Rather his texting style with you shows his level of interest and investment. Mirror and adapt to his texting style. If he doesn’t take too long to respond to your texts, then you shouldn’t either.
3. Don’t overthink your reply time
Text him back within a time limit if it feels comfortable to you. If your response time is something that he finds a problem with, it isn’t your problem, it’s his (as long as the period it takes to respond is reasonable). You shouldn’t feel pressured to text according to his rules or societies. Believe it or not, there is something called texting compatibility. That’s something that you should consider when founding a relationship as well. What you can check to see if you are compatible with texting is:
Checking the timing of your responses; How do you like to construct your texts; Use of emojis; Attention to grammar and punctuation; What do you use texting most (daily updates, arranging dates, having long deep conversations);
This can help you identify when it is the most natural time to text him back. Waiting for hours isn’t the only option when texting him. You can also text him back so that you can have a back-and-forth exchange. Keep in mind that you can’t always please him with your timing of responses.
4. Avoid unreasonable timing
Unreasonable times of texting should be avoided as that will just decrease the likelihood of a response from him. Although 11 pm can still be considered early for some, people who have worked during the day prefer to take their time to relax. Moreover, you should reconsider the suggestive attitude that your text might give if you send a late-night text. Timing adds importance to the texts especially if you’re in the early stages of dating.
5. If you are interested in him, don’t wait for days
Taking too long to answer can be annoying and send the message that you aren’t interested in him. Extending the texting time from hours to days will make him think that you have lost interest in him, resulting in stopping communication. You will be giving mixed signals if you vary your response times to extremes. It can make him tired of that game. Consistency is highly valued. However, leaving your priorities unattended is not recommended either. That’s why you need to decide your own priorities and how high he is ranked in the list when deciding the time you make for texting him back. If you drag a conversation for 48 hours, you will also lose momentum and likely lose the spark of interest within the conversation. The effort needs to be mutual when it comes to texting. Invest only as much as he invests in you.
6. You can take your time to consider your response
There are questions that you need to consider the answer that you want to give him. Thus, you should wait until you’re sure of what you want to say to text him back. Anything that might affect your future plans should be considered carefully and longevity doesn’t matter in your response as long as it’s rational. If it will take you longer than a day to decide, let him know. Because if you don’t, he might think of it as a rejection. However, you can’t use this as an excuse to take an extraneous amount of time to reply, as you might be keeping him hanging.
7. Prioritize yourself, then decide on him
What you’re asking isn’t the right amount of time you should take to text him, but rather how high you should put him on your priority list. When thinking of how long you should be waiting to text him back, instead contemplating, do something that will make you happy. When you prioritize the things that will make you happy, you will also fall in step when you should text him back. Let him know why you’re busy, and why you need that amount of time to respond to him. That will let him know that you aren’t playing around with him and will make him look even more attractive. You shouldn’t strategize your timing, and make him wait too long. There might be negative effects and also will just make you look immature. Do you find yourself in constant worry when it comes to dating and relationships?Some worry, skepticism, and light fears are generally normal when it comes to meeting new people.However, it becomes concerning once you start overthinking, projecting past experiences, and fearing most things about relationships.Reach out to someone who can help you clear your mind!
When exactly should you wait to text him back? – Let’s get into specifics!
Every situation is special as determined by the content of the message on how long you should make him wait. Some situations might not require your attention immediately, and some are more urgent. That’s something that is classified by your perception.
– Taking your time as much as you want is acceptable in the early stages of dating.
You are confused as to what is an acceptable time frame that you can consider when texting him back… That’s because when you text him back you might seem more interested and available for him which might make you a bit less attractive. Since you are in the beginning stages of a relationship, you can take your time to text him back. Your frequency of texts will be dependent on your attraction to him, curiosity, and interest. Therefore, you should wait to text him back as you see fit.
– Be more considerate of your timing if you’re exclusively dating.
If your relationship has progressed, by nature, you will start to get more curious about that person and talk to him more. You shouldn’t feel pressured to wait hours to respond to a text that you eagerly want to reply to. Just do it right away and continue the conversation. You don’t have to worry that you’ll seem needy or desperate if you text him back quickly a couple of times. That’s just sincere behavior. Quick text exchange is expected at this stage, therefore there is nothing to fear, just go with the flow and keep in check how much you are investing in him. If he is taking a long time to text you back, you can send him another follow-up. But don’t send it if it has been only a couple of hours, wait at least 24h to send him a follow-up text.
– It’s okay to take a long time if you’re busy, but let him know about it if you can do so.
In this case, you don’t have to go out of your way to text him back. You can send him a quick message saying “I’ll talk to you later, I’m drowning in documents” if you can. During the day, it should be universally acknowledged that you can’t prioritize texting all the time. There needs to be a mutual understanding that sometimes he will have to wait a couple of hours to get a text from you. To avoid conflict, you can let him know in advance that you will not be able to get back at him during the day. Here are some texts you can copy/paste to send to him:
“Hey, my day is more busy than usual. Please don’t worry if I can’t get back to you. I’ll text you whenever I can.” “Hi. Today is very busy. I might not be able to reply quickly, but I’ll do so whenever I can.”
– Don’t take too long if it’s about making plans.
You have to try to answer as fast as you can when you’re making plans about a date, a meetup, or something else. Especially if you’re making plans with other people involved. More than two people’s time is in question, you shouldn’t wait to text him back. Get back to him as soon as possible. If you have been talking for some time, ask him to let you know in advance. You might be busy later on and miss the chance. Therefore, when something is urgent and requires your immediate attention, you shouldn’t make him wait long.
Would he care if I took a long time to answer him?
Not a lot of men care about the amount of time you take to answer them, as long as it is reasonable. If you took a long time to answer him he would care if you’ve been consistent with your communication. It’s understandable that you might be busy a day, but not over a long period of time when you can’t find the time to text him back. Depending on the stage of the relationship you are in, his view might change. If you’re on the talking stage, he might feel worried, lose interest, or he might think he did something wrong. He would appreciate it if you let him know that you won’t be able to get back to him soon. That signals your interest and respect. If he has known you for a long time and knows what might be keeping you away, he will not think much of it and just wait until you make some time. Avoid playing mind games as they can make you look childish and he will refuse to give you the chance to actually get to know him. No one wants to feel like they are at the bottom of your priority list. If both of you like each other and have shown interest, texting should come naturally. – Are two days a long time to not reply? Generally, two days is a long time to not reply. Especially if the conversation you were having was important. Taking two days to respond is likely to make him think you’re playing games or that you aren’t interested in him. – If he takes a long time to answer me, does that mean he isn’t interested in me? The time he takes to text you back shows his investment in you. The longer it takes for him to text you, the less invested he is, or the more likely he is to be playing games. – Why should I take a long time to answer him? You shouldn’t wait a long time to answer him if you don’t want to. This is something that only you can decide. It’s just that sometimes quickness is associated with desperation and neediness. If your chemistry is great and your texting is reciprocated, then feel free to dive into it without fear. Love, Callisto
