I am sure you are not the only woman (or spouse) who has lost interest in having sex with their partner, despite the deep love they feel for each other. There are many normal and circumstantial reasons for this decline of sexual interest in each other. I am glad that at least, in your case you are aware of a probable part of the problem; his alleged lack of tact and style. First of all, not all of us have sex and enjoy sex in the same way. Our sexual predilections are informed a lot by our biology and the experiences we have had with our bodies in the past. Hence 100% acceptance of self and others might be a beneficial thing to have. It is important that in most sexual encounters, in long-term relationships, there is a keen understanding of each other’s sexual preferences and kinks, which leads to a reasonably adjusted style and fashion of sexual behaviour resulting in a mutual sense of fulfilment. In other words, you both should be able to enjoy it.
This requires a huge deal of open and non-shaming communication. Sex is one area of our lives, where the wrong choice of words and tone can hurt more than other areas. We feel the most vulnerable in the sexual natures of our bodies. Hence I highly recommend seeing a counsellor psychologist who deals with sex as a major part of their work. Now let’s get to your emotional demands. I want to make this clear while each other’s sexual well being is a concern that both husband and wife must share, none of you is obligated to have sex with the other all the time and every time. Having said that, if you don’t feel physically threatened, I would like you to re-interpret his actions as deep desire and love for you. This may help you even feel the desire for him too. If this doesn’t work, talk to him about seeing a counselling therapist. All the best! https://www.bonobology.com/everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-sexless-marriages-but-were-too-afraid-to-ask/
