In a study published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour, the researchers asked the participants questions about their infidelity with their partners; which was called extra-dyadic sexual involvement (ESI) by the researchers. And the study revealed some fascinating facts which are noteworthy- #People who cheated in their first relationship were three times as likely to cheat in their next relationship! Whoa! Once a cheater, always a cheater. #Those who knew their partners had engaged in infidelity in the previous relationships were twice as likely to report the same from their next partner. Doesn’t get better, isn’t? #People who suspected their partners of cheating in their first-relationship were four times as likely to report suspecting their partner in the next relationship as well. Never doubt your instincts, guys. The results were indicative of the importance of prior infidelity in your current or next relationship. One of the reasons the ESI’s find it easier to cheat and then lie about it could be explained by another study that reveals how the brain gets used to lying over time. A study published in the journal Nature Neuroscience states that telling lies builds the density of our brain against the negative emotions associated with it. Another study reported in Huffington post claims to provide the first empirical evidence showing that dishonesty gradually increases over time. By using scans that measured the brain’s response to lying, researchers saw that each new lie resulted in smaller and smaller neurological reactions ― especially in the amygdala, which is the brain’s emotional core. In effect, each new fib appeared to desensitize the brain, making it easier and easier to tell more lies. “We need to be careful of small lies because even though they may be seemingly small, they can escalate,” said Neil Garrett, first author of the study. “What our results may suggest is that if someone is repeatedly engaging in dishonest behaviour, it’s likely that the person has emotionally adapted to their lie and lacks the negative emotional response that would usually curb it,” Garrett said. In other words, even if you feel guilty about cheating the first time you do, you’re unlikely to feel the same level of guilt the next time around, which in a way may encourage you to repeat the act in the future. The authors of a new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships propose that cheaters feel bad about their indiscretions, but try to feel better by reframing their past infidelities as uncharacteristic or out-of-the-ordinary behaviour. In short, people know that infidelity is wrong, but some still do it. And when they do, they usually feel pretty bad about it. But through various forms of cognitive gymnastics, cheaters can discount their past indiscretions to feel better about themselves. Since the negative consequences, at least in terms of how they feel about themselves, are diminished, maybe they do not learn from their mistakes – and might be susceptible to cheating again in the future. The above studies do provide an interesting analysis into the mind of ESI offenders and it proves the adage “once a cheater, always a cheater” true. But remember although you can give credit to a person for owning up to his/her infidelity in the past or present, it remains a tricky morass to negotiate. Follow your brain and not your heart if you catch your partner cheating or even admitting to having cheated in the past. It’s a no brainer. And if you still choose to be with a cheater or ignore his acts of infidelity, then it’s time to introspect and ask yourself, why have you attracted a cheater in your life? And trust me, you will find the answer within you if you choose to be truthful & authentic with yourself.
