While he’s in his little escape in whatever land he may be at the moment, you’re now left with so many questions in your head while failing to answer them. You’re emotionally overwhelmed because you like this guy so much, he could even be your boyfriend and be your number one person. You can’t think straight when you’re emotionally overwhelmed. Emotions affect your thought process, making the quality of your thoughts not at such a convenient level. I got you, I’ll be helping you to put those thoughts straight back up and that quality of thought process in a pragmatic frame again. Here are 11 exact reasons why men pull away:
1. Fear of commitment
One of the most common reasons why a lot of men disappear, especially when it gets serious, is fear of commitment. If he’s been affectionate and caring for you but now he is pulling away without a warning, then he’s probably fearful of commitment. Fear of commitment stems from a lot of factors. Commitment comes with consistent connection, love, and affection between two people. It can put you both in a vulnerable position. If he’s starting to catch feelings, he could feel threatened by “what’s happening to him” resulting in him pulling away due to fear of commitment. Is very common for guys to pull away when they catch feelings. On the other hand, there are men who simply don’t like the idea of committing to a relationship. If this is the case with your man, then he’s pulling away because he’s not willing to commit to a relationship. It’s his way of escaping: silently and suddenly (perhaps without any explanation).
2. He lacks interest in the relationship
When he pulls away without any particular reason one of the most common possible reasons is his lack of interest in the relationship. When he loses interest in the relationship he can manifest it through pulling away due to his hesitation to start a conversation on it. He’d rather pull away slowly to the point where the relationship ends than simply tell you face to face that he’s no longer interested. This is very common because a lot of people in our society aren’t aware of the importance of communication in relationships. In this particular case, if he’s been showing other signs that he’s not interested, then lack of interest in the relationship could be the reason he’s pulling away.
3. He knows he hurt you
When he holds you close to his heart and hurts you without intending to, once he realizes what he did, he goes a bit silent. He takes his time and he pulls away as a way of coping with the situation. This is a tricky behavior to decode. Generally, a man realizing he hurt a woman and pulling away because of it is not a rare scenario in the dating world. Especially if he’s a man that has difficulties keeping in touch with his emotions and understanding them. This will be his way of taking his time to pull back and reflect on the situation, or simply avoid having contact with you to prevent the feeling of guilt. He’s likely to distance himself from you for a multitude of reasons, and one of the possible reasons is when he realizes he hurt you. Especially if you’re a person he has dear to his heart.
4. He’s falling in love but scared of it
One of the reasons a guy pulls away is he’s falling in love. Falling in love can be overwhelming for a lot of people. There’s so much going on at once, and it just takes time to adapt to the entire experience. When he doesn’t understand his feelings, he’s very likely to be scared of them. Part of the scenario is falling in love and pulling away because of it. If falling in love is a scary feeling to him he’s very likely to pull away once he notices the feelings kicking in. He’s also more prone to be scared of vulnerability and closeness with another person. So once he notices himself starting to fall for you the overwhelming thoughts about it start to kick in. In his head, it can seem that the only way to easily handle the situation is pulling away from you.
5. You hurt him
Pulling away is a lot of men’s response to their partner hurting them. A man can pull away for a multitude of reasons, one of them being you hurting him. You might have done it on purpose or not, however, the result is him being hurt. It can be the reason why your boyfriend is pulling away. Most men choose to pull away over a hot debate or argue about what you did to them. It’s an easier way out: no shouting, no yelling; Simply leaving slowly while taking the time to cope with the hurt. It’s yet another common reason why men pull away. Sometimes it’s just their chosen tool of communication with you: not communicating, or slowly disappearing from your life through pulling away.
6. He’s trying to gain power in the relationship
Relationships with an imbalance of power between partners are struggling relationships sometimes leading to a toxic relationship. When one partner has the power within the relationship, the other partner may often feel hopeless or simply ‘taken over’ by the partner who has the power. If he feels powerless in the relationship he’s very likely to pull away to gain that power or gain it back if he once had it. By pulling away, he’ll get more of your attention and curiosity… This means, that you’re more likely to go after him and chase him because, clearly, you don’t know if you did something wrong or not. This puts you in a ‘chasing’ position while he has power and control of where the situation is headed. A need for power in the relationship is definitely one of the reasons why men pull away!
7. He’s trying to protect you from himself
He could be dealing with insecurities, or other problems that he’s got going on in his life but isn’t willing to share at the moment. Men can pull away for selfless reasons as well, let’s not be surprised! He might need some time and space to work things out on his own, and pulling away could be the best way to protect you from a possible hurt in the process. Even though this is a possible reason for his pull away from you, let’s not romanticize it over too much. Collect other signs from his behavior and from the way he treats you. Is he the guy to be so selfless and protect you from his own self? If he’s been caring and loving towards you then he’s very likely to have a solid reason to pull away. All it takes to find out the reason is to analyze his behavior before and after he pulled away.
8. He’s immature
When he’s immature, he doesn’t have much of an understanding of the core values of a healthy relationship. Lack of understanding of his importance in the relationship can be one of the reasons why he pulls away so easily. An immature man pulls away and comes back because he doesn’t understand the weight of his actions on you. He’s immature, at least in this aspect of life, he might not be used to relationships, or simply didn’t grow to comprehend the core values of a relationship. An immature man has an easier time pushing you away and then coming back because a relationship with him isn’t much of a serious deal. To him, it can seem like a game in which no one gets hurt, resulting in reckless behavior without thinking of the weight of it on you.
9. He’s insecure
A man also pulls away when he’s insecure about himself and his abilities. Your presence might overwhelm him and make him have thoughts of not deserving you or simply having doubts on why you chose him. This could often be the reason why he pulls away early in the relationship. He doesn’t know what he wants, and when he gets something in particular it can get overwhelming to him. He could be dealing with other inner troubles that cause him insecurity. However, this is a very common pattern of men dealing with insecurity in a relationship. His insecurity can cause him to feel intimidated by your presence and can cause him to see himself as inferior parallel to your superior image. In such circumstances, the only reasonable thing to do can seem to pull away slowly whether it is to see the impact of his actions on you or to simply not deal with the thoughts going around his head.
10. He doesn’t understand the fundamental values of healthy communication
This is one of the core reasons why men disappear by pulling away without giving you any explanation about it. He simply doesn’t understand the core and fundamental values of healthy communication in a relationship. This can also indicate a lack of understanding of the relationship and how it’s supposed to function. If he’d be mature in this aspect of life (read: relationships), he’d find a way to communicate to you what’s bothering him, or at the very least why he’s pulling away. When a guy pulls away, one thing is for certain: he’s got a lot going on in his head. He might not be able to find the proper way to tell you the reasons or at least explain how he’s feeling. This is on top of the list of why men pull away. He simply doesn’t understand the fundamental importance of clear communication.
11. He’s cheating
When a man cheats he can get overwhelmed by the experience, especially during the early stages of the affair. He’ll give off mixed signals through his behavior, he’ll pull away, come back, pull away, and come back stronger. Pulling away can be a strategy for coping with the guilt he feels. To him, it can be reflected as a need for space and time to reflect on his actions and wrongdoings towards you. On the other hand, it can simply be an escape from the guilt and shame he feels when he looks you in the eyes. It’s how a lot of men deal with situations when things get messed up: they withdraw to not deal with the situation at all.
Tackling absurdity: Why do men pull away when they like you?
When things start to get serious, when there are feelings involved such as sympathy or love, men tend to pull away. There’s a multitude of reasons why men pull away when they like a person, or even start to fall in love with that person. Being in love, linking a person, or simply being infatuated by the person can put you in a vulnerable position. That’s because you feel so much for them that you’d be willing to go out of your way to please them and not hurt them. Now, in some cases, pleasing another person and preventing yourself from hurting another person through your behavior takes sacrifice. Men back off when they like you because it can take a lot of sacrifices to keep a relationship or simply meet your expectations. On the other hand, a lot of men withdraw after intimacy which can, in some cases, be related to affection. Generally speaking, men who withdraw after intimacy without any feelings involved are the ones that most call ‘players’. It’s part of their game, especially if sex is the only thing they want from a person.
Conclusion: Why did he pull away?
Thoughts can be unspoken and they can make a lot of room for misunderstandings between two lovers, or even two people getting to know each other. The complication goes further when it’s about opposite sexes: men and women; guys and ladies. Even though he’s not telling you why… The fear of commitment, lack of interest in the relationship, knowing he messed up, lack of understanding towards relationships, immaturity, infidelity, insecurity, and the feeling of powerlessness are just a few of the possible reasons hidden behind his pulling away. It’s complicated like that, we’re complex beings. Spoken and unspoken signals can be misinterpreted or spot-on decoded. Did you decode it yet? Love, Callisto
